Flapjacks and Flounder

US Wealth Napolitano |

Your hope at the end of a long cold snowy winter is that once you move into March, the sun shines brighter, the weather warms, and at last you enjoy that peaceful transition into springtime.    For me, things were generally heading in that direction last week until I came down with the dreaded flu. 

Similar to many Americans, I religiously receive my annual flu shot (and also sign that strange piece of paper indicating that I’m not allergic to things like eggs). I’ve done this with the peace of mind that I’ll either completely avoid or at least mitigate the effects of the virus. Throughout our blissful winter I had heard various reports that the creators had actually “whiffed” with this year’s vaccine, but I guess I was a little disappointed when I found myself flat on my back with a 102 degree temperature for most of last week. 

When I get ill like that, there’s very little I can do other than kind of “lay there” and pretend I’m a vegetable. I’m not much of a TV guy and reading really doesn’t work for me when I have extra fog on my brain. I freely admit that I will whine and also feel very sorry for myself whenever possible. My wife and son are aware of this and would visit me occasionally, but I noted they really wouldn’t go very far into my room and always politely closed the door on the way out.

This reminded me of a story a friend of mine once told me about a guy who was feeling really retched and sought some medical advice. After performing a battery of tests, the doctor consulted with the patient. 

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” pronounced the doctor. 

“Well, let’s start with the bad news,” said the patient with concern in his voice.

“You’ve tested positive for three highly contagious diseases: Ebola, Chicken Pox, and Meningitis,” explained the doctor.

“Doc, that’s terrible!!  What’s the good news?”

“We are going to put you on diet of flapjacks and flounder,” said the doctor.

“Do you think that will help?” asked the patient hopefully.

“I seriously doubt it, but it’s the only thing that we can slide under the door!!!”

I hope that everyone has a happy and healthy March.  

This article was written by Tom Fletcher.